In the past two weeks I have had at least three people mention to me that they were missing my writings. I write nearly every single day, but I have not been writing pieces for sharing. I have been writing simply as a means of self-exploration.
When asked why I have not been publishing my writings, I found that I really did not have a reasonable answer. I know that I have troubles, sometimes, with my inner critic who insists that I have already said all that I had to say and that the last thing the world needed was someone else telling others how they need to live. I did not share this with the friends who asked. Saying it out loud or even playing the recording in my head made the criticism sound more foolish than when I initially allowed it to stop me from publishing my thoughts.
Recently a man tweeted “Elliott Teters says he has a secret to peace. Does he? Read his blog to find out.” This struck me as interesting. It gave my inner critic fuel : “Do you have a secret to peace, Elliott. You, yourself, do not always live in perfect peace” it reminded me.
There is something that I have heard others talk about. I am not sure exactly what it is called but my memory says it was “The Impostor Syndrome.” My understanding of this concept is that the person offering advice begins to contemplate questions like “Who are you to be sharing your opinions. What makes you such an expert?” Wow. The impostor syndrome sounds remarkably like my inner critic.
I have always liked Marianne Williamson’s response to this question with her famous reply, “Who are you not to?” Who am I not to share what I have learned? Who am I not to reflect on my own challenges and victories? Who am I to keep my voice quiet for fear that someone out there might join in my inner critic’s choir?
I have decided that I am going to commit to writing something every week day and sharing it with anyone who cares to stop by. When I do not share I feel bottled up, restricted, restrained. I do not like that feeling. Sharing, every day, is a challenge for me because I have so many unfinished projects which are competing for my time, but it is important to me that I have this outlet to express whatever is mine to share. Whether or not I attract people to read my words is not as important to me as the release I receive by sharing. I need to offer whatever I have to give as one of my avenues of service. Service is fulfilling, in and of itself, regardless of how many people receive benefit from the offering.
So, to the friends who urged me to return to the sharing of my thoughts, I say “Thank You.” I greatly appreciate hearing that my words were useful to you.
Staring at a blank page, sometimes, can be very daunting. Usually when I really commit to writing and begin by placing my fingers on the keyboard, typing whatever comes to mind, I can find something wanting to express itself through me. It is my hope and prayer that you, whoever you are reading these offerings, will find some value in what I have to share. Thank you so much, it really does mean a lot to me that you take the time to peruse these writings.