I don’t know why it is that making commitments can bring up so much resistance in my life, but I have watched it happen so many times it is nearly frightening.
A couple of weeks ago I stated that my intention was to write every week day, even if some days the writing was very short. I managed to keep my commitment for three days. By the time the following Monday rolled around, I was so crippled I could not sit in a chair and type. This went on for four days and I finally was able to eke out one writing.
This last week I was not able to write even one time. I cannot even say for sure why. I had much to do but I should have had time to write a few short pieces; yet nothing was shared. Every time I decided that I would write, a phone call or some other distraction would pull me away and before long the day was gone, the writing packed away for another day.
I know better than to commit “out loud.” I know better because I have seen how my strong resistance works, time and time again. So, I am going to state that I will blog when I can. I would like that to be every week day, but I commit only to following the winds of my soul. If they insist that I spend the day helping a neighbor, or entertaining a guest, or working on a lawnmower, which suddenly quits working, so be it!
When I fight my own resistance there seems to be no winner. While my ‘goal’ may not be met, my heart seems less troubled because I am working where I have energy. I hope that makes sense.
All the goal experts insist that I should create goals and then not allow anything to stand in the way of completing those goals. I understand that reasoning, but it is not a way I am capable of living. Perhaps I just do not want the object of my goal badly enough. Undoubtedly, the goals are simply not important enough for me to chain myself to a chair when my soul insists I should be outside.
Commitments are important. It is important to keep my commitments. When I commit to having breakfast or lunch with someone I make every effort to keep that date. Sometimes, however, even with something that important to me, my body decides to keep me from walking or to keep me awake all night so I feel too poorly to be good company at the meet.
Whenever we make goals obstacles arise to test how badly we want to reach those goals. Overcoming these obstacles makes obtaining the goals all the sweeter.
For now, I am going to change my goal to sharing a writing at least once a week. I am pretty certain I can keep that commitment. Goals should stretch the seeker. They are supposed to be challenging, so that the sense of accomplishment is its own reward. I am not sure that sharing one writing a week is a big enough goal to be all that rewarding, but considering the fact that I could not get one writing posted last week, it seems ominous enough for me, right now.
“When we get up in the morning the pattern of the day is set by how we feel about life. If we feel miserable then everything we encounter will be miserable, and we can make others miserable as well. If they do not go along with this misery we’ll get mad that they don’t agree with us and we’ll be even more miserable. But if we feel grateful then we will find things to be grateful for and people will be grateful to be around us. We set the pattern of the day by the level of our vibration. And life reflects the level of our vibration.
If you could realize this you would know what it means to enter a room with respect and awareness. You would know what it means to sit down at a table with respect for the food that God has given you. You would understand why you are asked to be respectful in every moment of your lives, giving the fullest attention to whatever you are doing, whether you’re sitting at a table eating, walking in the garden or making love. The future of life on this planet is in your hands. You set the pattern of the future for your children. And every time you fall asleep in denial of the great possibilities that you are, you deny the future of the planet and all that may be brought into the present moment. We are responsible for making the patterns for the future of mankind. We are responsible for laying the foundations of in the world, and this is why it is necessary to be awake.”
I share this piece by Feild because I feel it is more important to be awake, to be listening to my heart, and to do whatever I am led to do than to try to live up to some commitment I made without really paying attention. In other words I would rather not write than force a writing when there is nothing in my heart to share. I am far more concerned with the quality of what I offer my readers, than I am about the quantity.
Everything we do is far more significant than we realize. When I share writing I am not merely documenting notes from my journey. I am leaving a trail that hopefully, future generations will find useful in their own quest to remember who and what they are. It is essential that my writings reflect the Love that I feel for humanity and for Life itself. Hopefully, by writing when I feel inspired to write, instead of following some contrived schedule, I will fulfill this aspect of my life’s purpose.