This year, I promised myself that I would write more often and that I would share more of theseÂ writings. At one point, I even had dreams of sharing a post every day, something which I did back in 2007. Â Now February is almost over, and I find I have not shared a single post.
Life is moving so very quickly, unless IÂ stay on-task and have myÂ priorities very clear, life seems to slip through myÂ fingers, leaving many of my dreams as mere ideas.Â I do not mean to imply that my life is not fulfilling, because it is. Â It is just that many of the dreams and goals I hadÂ for last year (and some for years before that) are still pending. I have failed to keep these objectivesÂ at the top of my â€œto-doâ€ lists each day.Â Unless I find a way to focus on the things I wishÂ to accomplish, this year, I will be repeatingÂ this same disappointmentÂ when 2016 rolls around. Trust me, I know of what I speak.
I would like to say that I am constantly reinventing myself, but that would not be completelyÂ honest. While I do strive to live each moment fully present in this “now,”Â time passes and I eventually find myself examining my wish-list with regret instead of enthusiasm. I need to find a way to live inÂ balance. I must dwell in the now, because I find it so much easier to be at peace here, while at the same time exercisingÂ the discipline to achieve some of my lifeâ€™s goals. If I am to be a writer, I must find the courage and tenacity to write. If I am to be an online marketer, I must make plans and work towards the accomplishment of those plans.
While I dearly love the freedom of simply doing whatever shows up in my life, as some sort of perpetual adventure, I also love the rewards that accompany dedicated self-mastery. Life constantly reminds me that anything worth having is worth the effort to accomplish. Balance is truly the key to my happiness. Perhaps that is why I was born a Libra.
While this blog is only one aspect of my overall ministry, it is one that will receive more of my attention this year.Â I will be postingÂ more often, even if I only have a quote that is speaking to me.Â Â So, if you are one of myÂ reported eight subscribers, know that you can expect more thoughts to be forthcoming for the rest of this year. Together, perhaps 2015 willÂ be the year when we find the strength and dedication to accomplish more of what is important to us.
I have felt what you describe here. I believe that part of my life purpose is to share my lessons via writing. I had a period of time when I wrote proliferately (I’m keeping that word even if spell check doesn’t like it :-) ) – it seems that the more willing I was to dedicate myself to daily writing, the easier the flow and the more I was given/received to write about. Not sure why I stopped…I started to question whether anyone cared – who was I to think I could be one of God’s teachers??? I have felt for some time that I have not lived up to my invitation. The more I allowed that feeling to persist, the deeper entrenched it became…rewinding me to earlier conclusions of unworthiness and failure – an unpleasant default I thought I’d worked out. This all pretty much happened “underground” – it was a rather insidious infiltration that I am just beginning to recognize as false. I know you are writing about self discipline – what you wrote just spoke to where I am at in my awareness – reminding me that my “best” times are not behind me. That today is as full of promise as any day I have ever lived; that timing for my fullest unfolding is not up to me – but I can trust its perfection. Thanks Elliott!
Thank you for your thoughts Eve. I often think we share many of the same inner challenges.
I love and appreciate you.