It felt so good to get something published on my blog yesterday. As I stated I have been writing nearly every day but I have not wanted to share any of my writings. A couple of friends have been concerned about why I haven’t been posting and that interest encouraged me to go ahead and share some insight into my current psyche.
It astounded me how good I felt after exposing my “hiding” self through my writing. I tend to be a bit monastic. I spend day after day, home alone, engaged only in my inner contemplations and reflections. I am very comfortable with this arrangement, but I have noticed I am becoming more and more introverted. Recently at a gathering with some of Susie’s friends I found I had very little common ground and had a challenging time being present in conversations which did not interest me. I like to listen, but it works out better when I do not have to feign interest because the subject being shared is somewhat interesting. It is a little disconcerting that I am training myself to abandon my socialization skills. I have always been able to function well in group settings, even if I would just as soon avoid them.
Today as I received emails and twitter comments discussing what I had written I felt even more enthused that my message was appreciated by some friends and associates. It is kind of funny that one of the reasons I quit posting was because no one seemed to really care. Out of 20k+ followers on Twitter only about 8 ever clicked through to my blog and only 1 or 2 ever commented. Out of a mailing list of over 200 only 10% even opened the email and only 1 or 2 ever responded. I became frustrated that the work I poured in to writing and posting had such little impact.
Yesterday and today’s experience has reminded me that I write because it makes me feel more alive. I don’t know how many times I need to be reminded of that truth. Regardless of the number of people who find value in what I have to share, the sharing alone makes me feel better; it causes me to feel more excited about being here. For that reason I am going to try to share something every day (at least every week day) again so that I can recapture that feeling that I am giving what is mine to give. I hope to keep the postings shorter so that they will be quicker and easier to navigate, but I tend to be verbose when the words are flowing.
I am grateful for the technology which allows me to share my journey with anyone who has any interest. Those of you who read these words and take the time to share your comments are true treasures. Thank you for sharing your love and wisdom with me and all who happen across this blog.
I want to change the look and format of this blog but when I have tried that with other blogs I have lost everything so I am a bit hesitant. Hopefully, I will overcome my trepidation and this blog will have a new look soon. Until then know that you, whoever you are and wherever you are, are greatly appreciated for taking the time to read these words. While I write for me, it helps me feel more valuable when my thoughts have some positive impact on others.